Puppet Defeats Edwards, Becomes Lucasian Professor of Humor

In a stunning upset, a puppet has defeated Dublin’s own John Edwards and replaces him as Lucasian Professor of Humor for the Royal and Ancient Society.

A roguish, swag-bellied wagtail with an onion-eyed penchant for impertinence, Mr. Edwards was seen as a lock to continue on as Lucasian Chair.  Voters saw it differently, however.

“I have to give the puppet credit,” said the outgoing Chairman to a largely subdued crowd of mimes.  “The campaign became a referendum on saying what people wanted you to say when they had a hand up your ‘tuchus’.  Speaking from personal experience, I received only one such vote ~ it was from my proctologist ~  and quite frankly it wasn’t worth it.”

In his new role as Lucasian Chair, Mr. Puppet becomes the 17th Grand Protector of the Orb of Hasty-Wit and the Sword of Clay-Brain ~ first bestowed upon the Society by the Earl of Mumblenews in 1819

 (c) Copyright 2012 – Jedwar.com – All Rights Reserved

Did you like this? Share it:

Leave a Reply