In a stunning upset, a puppet has defeated Dublin’s own John Edwards and replaces him as Lucasian Professor of Humor for the Royal and Ancient Society.
A roguish, swag-bellied wagtail with an onion-eyed penchant for impertinence, Mr. Edwards was seen as a lock to continue on as Lucasian Chair. Voters saw it differently, however.
“I have to give the puppet credit,” said the outgoing Chairman to a largely subdued crowd of mimes. “The campaign became a referendum on saying what people wanted you to say when they had a hand up your ‘tuchus’. Speaking from personal experience, I received only one such vote ~ it was from my proctologist ~ and quite frankly it wasn’t worth it.”
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